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BLITZ

Attention ‘Unsuccessful’ Dieters! You are about to discover...

How To Achieve RAPID Fat Loss While Eating Foods You Love, Never Starving Yourself & Learning The Exact Methods That Will Lock In Your Results For Life

You Always Start Out Confident…

This is the time you’re FINALLY going to lose weight and keep it off.

You’ll “banish the belly”, get in shape, maybe even reveal some abs…

And in just a few weeks time you will be unrecognisable to friends, family, colleagues and the Barista’s in your coffee shop as you are now chiselled, lean, and walking with a confident strut in your step. 

You have a “plan” and you’re ready to get stuck in. 

And at first it seems doable.

At least for the first few weeks. 

Then the wheels start to come off in quick and brutal fashion.

The progress you were so confident about making is nowhere to be found.

You step on the scales every week and see the same numbers staring back at you (might as well be giving you the finger and tellin’ you to jog on).

You twist and turn at every angle as you look at yourself in the mirror in a desperate search for SOMETHING to look different.

You secretly hope for someone… ANYONE to ask “Have you lost weight?” and give you the satisfaction of knowing all your hard work is paying off.

But they never ask.

The scales never budge.

And your mirror dance routine never reveals any changes.

The motivation and determination you had just a few weeks ago evaporates in a heartbeat.

And before you know it…

Every meal is a mental and emotional battle against the little voice in your head saying...

“Go on, so what if it pushes you over your calories? You’ll get back on track tomorrow”

Getting a takeaway on a Friday night after a LONG week at work because you deserve it and you hit the gym 4 times this week so you’ve burned plenty of calories.

Surrounding yourself with a moat of snacks for a Netflix marathon after deciding to stay at 2,347 steps for the day because you’ll catch up tomorrow.

Getting lunch from the Deli because everyone else in work is doing the same and it’s only soup and a sandwich… with a cake for your coffee… and you’ll have a chicken salad for dinner (you won’t) so this is FINE.

It’s hard to remember the moment you “quit” on your diet.

Life ain’t a movie.

So you don’t look up to the sky like Andy Dufrane in Shawshank Redemption and scream “I QUIIIIIIT”.

You just let little things slide over a week or two and end up back in your old ways.

And you’ll plod along until something happens that sparks you into action again with a new plan and new confidence that this is the time you finally ditch the belly fat.

Then you’ll repeat the cycle again.

So maybe, just maybe…

It’s worthwhile considering, even just for a few minutes, the possibility that…

If You Want To Lose Weight, Get In Shape And Make Your Results Permanent… You Need To Try Something New?

Which does not mean the same stinking turd of a diet in a new dress.

Clean eating, low carb, fasting, diet clubs…

They’re all the same bullshit approaches that will always let you down.

But how about a fat loss coaching program where EVERYTHING you need to get insane results in just 6 weeks is managed and tailored to your needs, taste, and lifestyle…

So all you have to do is follow your plan, check in with your coach, and work hard (yes, you need to work hard to get the kind of results you’re about to see)?

Oh and this program…

Has an AVERAGE weight loss of 13lbs per client with 1099 clients having completed it up to this point.

Come to think of it, this whole build up thing is pretty pointless, isn’t it?

I mean, you literally signed up to a waitlist for this.

Sooooooo…

Let’s just get to the good stuff shall we?

Drumroll please.

Introducing…
BLITZ
Rapid Results - Permanent Changes

6 weeks.

That’s all you need to achieve the kind of results you’re about to see from past BLITZ clients.

And it doesn’t matter where you’re starting from.

If you’ve never set foot in a gym, never tracked a single calorie, never made a single attempt to lose weight until now…

If you’ve been in great shape before, are confident in the gym, can track calories like a pro, but you’ve let things slip and need to get back on track…

If you’ve been ticking along with hitting the gym and eating “kinda” well most of the time but know you need to take things up a notch to see the results you want…

BLITZ is the perfect fit for you.

And the reason it’s the perfect fit for you is because your diet, training, and lifestyle “non negotiables” are all tailored to YOU.

Please don’t make the mistake of thinking BLITZ is anything like the standard fat loss programs out there.

The ones where you get a PDF, a recipe book, a calorie calculator and then a random email 6 weeks later asking for a testimonial and if you’d like to sign up to one-to-one coaching.

Because BLITZ gives you the one thing proven to deliver elite results in a short time frame…

Coaching.

Every single week you will check in with your BLITZ coach who will guide you through every step of your transformation.

Look, it’s all fine and well having training programs, nutrition plans, and lifestyle guides.

All of which you’ll get on BLITZ (and they’ll be the best you’ve ever had).

But these things won’t do shit for you when you have a mad busy social schedule, you’ve had a dip in motivation, and that little voice in your head is pushing you to make decisions that go against what you’re trying to achieve.

A coach on the other hand will give you the accountability, feedback and perspective you need to make progress no matter what.

So when you reach a point where you know you would have quit in the past, you’ll stay on track, continue to transform your physique, and prove to yourself you CAN overcome these obstacles.

Coaching stops a wobble from becoming the end of your progress.

Coaching points out the unbelievable results you can’t see because you’re too hard on yourself.

Coaching shows you how to make habits and routines that ensure your results are locked in for life.

Speaking of results being locked in for life…

Quick confession.

BLITZ isn’t 6 weeks.

There’s a bonus week where you learn how to…

Future Proof Your Fat Loss

 

Week 7 is where you learn how to transition out of your fat loss diet and start eating MORE food without losing all your results.

This week is all about ensuring you know exactly what to do for the weeks and months following your BLITZ experience.

So you’re not just left to figure shit out on your own.

You’re given every tool and resource you need to effortlessly transition from fat loss calories up to your maintenance and beyond while still looking and feeling your best ever.

Oh and there’s also this…

Did you know about the £1,000 in cash prizes?

1st Prize = £750 cash

2nd Prize = £250 cash

Why are we offering prizes? 

Because it adds an extra incentive on top of the ones you already have.

If this does nothing for you then your BLITZ experience will still be life changing, packed with huge wins, and something you look back on as a highlight of this year.

But some people like to get competitive and having a nice cash prize to aim for brings out another level of determination in them.

If that sounds like you then you could be joining these previous winners;

This seems like a good time to show you what results are possible with BLITZ.

But first, think about this…

If “A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words” And “Actions Speak Louder Than Words” Then Check Out What Happens When You Take Action On BLITZ…

The AAA Solution Responsible For An Average Weight Loss Of 13lbs PER CLIENT On BLITZ

Answers

To the most pressing, frustrating, and progress blocking questions you have throughout your BLITZ journey which would normally have you quit on your goals if you were going solo.

Action

On the non-negotiables you’re given by your coach which get you laser-focused on the 3-5 things which WILL get you results no matter what else happens in your life.

Accountability

Which is about ownership NOT getting into trouble like a naughty child. The accountability you receive will reveal wins you didn’t realise you achieved and identify how you can improve going forward.

Every result you see on this page is down to this solution.

This may be a group coaching program.

But the personal touch from the coaches and sense of community you get from being a part of BLITZ will blow you away when you experience it for the first time.

Just look at how Rhiannon went from “what’s going on?” to “heeey who is dat 😉”

And when someone in our latest intake asked her fellow BLITZers to share their “small positive changes” the thread was packed with wins like these…

And another thing our latest intake made clear was how you won’t be the only one who notices the results you get on BLITZ…

The Results You Experience With BLITZ Are Off The Scale… Literally.

You’ve seen the physical results that BLITZ delivers.

But BLITZ goes way beyond transforming your physique.

Just listen to what people from the previous intakes have to say about their self-confidence, “feeling their best self”, and loving every moment of their fat loss journey…

Not just another Facebook group where you get lost

Proof! That BLITZ Is A Supportive & Engaged Community Of Like-Minded People

“How Much Is BLITZ Going To Cost Me?”

This would be the point where most coaches would demand you give up everything you spend money on to sign up for their program.

But we’re not going to do that to you.

Because…

We’re not desperados looking to make a sale at all costs
We like spending our own money on things like nice coffee, Netflix, meals out, etc so we’d be hypocrites if we told you to do differently

But most importantly, we believe you’re a grown-up who can handle being told the cost of things in an honest and direct way.

Sound good to you?

Cool, let’s break this down together.

BLITZ gets you access to all 6 of the coaches who make up the Biceps & Banter team (including the two brand new ones 👀).

If you signed up for 6 weeks of our one-to-one online coaching that would set up back £445.

Which would be worth every penny based on the results we deliver and how happy our one-to-one clients are.

But we both know this is a big investment.

Which is why you won’t be paying anywhere near that amount.

You won’t even be paying half of that figure.

We want to remove as many barriers as possible to you signing up to BLITZ…

And we know one of the hardest barriers to shift is price.

So we’re making this as close to a “no brainer” decision as possible.

Which is why you won’t be paying £445…

You won’t be paying £400…

You won’t even be paying £250…

You can secure your spot on BLITZ today…

Early Bird Special - £97

For A One Time Payment Of Just £127

For less than £150 you get the coaching, support, and results packed experience which will transform your physique once and for all AND kick off a whole new chapter in your life.

One where you’re free from the hamster wheel of crash dieting multiple times a year and the stress of worrying about how you look whenever a holiday, wedding, or other big life event is coming up.

Because you look class, you feel confident, your lifestyle is bang on AND you know you can enjoy beers, gin, desserts, meals out, a pic n mix at the cinema, an impromptu midweek Wagamama’s or whatever other indulgences you like…

Without feeling like you’re piling on the pounds again or losing any of the results you’ve worked so hard for.

BUT. 

To make it even more likely you see the insane offer you have in front of you right now it’s important we…

Put Your Decision In Perspective

 

Sometimes it’s hard to put in your card details and invest in something you know requires work.

Especially when the work you’re doing is focused on fat loss.

You know you’re going to face some demons, run into your fair share of challenges, and most worryingly of all…

You’re afraid you’re going to fail.

And part of the reason you’re afraid of failing is because you think BLITZ is like the other programs and diets you’ve failed with before.

You think once you put your card details in and we’re going to be like “HA! Sucks to be you ya big dummy, see you NEVER”.

But what’s actually going to happen is you’re going to have a plan, expert coaches, an incredible community and ANYTHING else you need to make your BLITZ journey packed with results, happy memories, and life changing experiences.

Because once you join BLITZ you’re never going to be on your own.

And you’re never going to be vulnerable to failing miserably like you have been in the past.

So now we’ve got everything out in the open there’s something you really need to know…

BLITZ closes on 5th March.

We kick things off on Monday, March 6th.

So if you’re going back and forth with yourself over whether or not to sign up, take a moment to imagine how you’ll feel in 2 weeks time if you DON’T sign up.

Because right now you might have a bunch of excuses and stories telling you to give this a miss.

Just seeing the results on this page has maybe reignited the belief that you can do this on your own.

But in 2 weeks time you’ll be looking back on this moment with nothing but regret and wishing you’d pulled the trigger.

FOMO is no joke when it comes to BLITZ.

And you don’t need to take our word for it…

“If we did the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves”.

We don’t go in for quotes very often, but this one is bang on the money as far as we’re concerned.

You’ve seen countless examples of how people who have completed BLITZ have “astounded” themselves by achieving results they never thought possible.

And they all started out where you are right now.

Debating whether or not to sign up…

Weighing up the pros & cons…

Overcoming their objections.

They all decided to take action in the end and never looked back.

But there were some people who had the opportunity to sign up and decided not to take it.

Which meant that nothing changed about their situation.

They continued the daily struggle against their weight, body image, and lack of results.

They didn’t get to experience the life-changing results that were within their grasp if only they’d taken that final step.

That final step is the one you can take right now to go from where you are now to where you could only dream of being in 6 weeks time.

I want you to imagine 6 weeks from now when you’re about to submit your final check-in for BLITZ.

You’ve had 8 weeks of expert fat loss coaching that’s completely transformed how you approach dieting and shown you that fat loss can be an enjoyable process.

Your physique has completely transformed.

You’ve experienced the ‘off the scale’ wins like clothes fitting looser, making new holes in your belt, progress pictures showing your gains, and experiencing the amazing support of the BLITZ community.

Your lifestyle has been transformed into one that is inclusive of the foods you love while promoting the habits & routines that make you look & feel phenomenal.

Your mindset towards your diet and your body has completely changed.

You are free from guilt and flourishing with the kind of self-confidence you thought you’d never have.

You’ve gone from being your biggest critic to being your biggest fan as you focus on the positives and never let yourself think negatively about yourself.

You’re proud of your body because you’ve put in the work to transform it AND laid rock-solid foundations to make sure your results last in the long term.

We know you have what it takes to do this.

All that’s left for you to do is hit the button below and secure your spot on BLITZ.

Now is the time to invest in yourself and make sure 2022 goes on with you rapidly moving closer to your fat loss goals on a daily basis.

We hope to see you on the inside.

Still have questions? Here are some answers:

“Who the hell are you guys and why should I trust you enough to give you my hard earned cash?”

Excuse us?

You know exactly who we are.

We’re Dan and Mike.

The two idiots who appear in your inbox twice per week sharing helpful, hilarious, and insightful health and fitness advice.

We also happen to be really fucking good at getting clients results.

So are the rest of our coaching team who, like us, don’t take themselves seriously.

Which is quite refreshing if you can’t relate to the ball achingly serious coaches out there who act like they’re on SAS Who Dares Wins.

“Why should I drop £127 on BLITZ when I’ve been ripped off before and swore never to make the same mistake again?”

First off, sorry you got ripped off.

We’re not shy about calling out the shitty coaching practices in our industry.

And if you’ve fallen victim to some arse wipe who promised the world and delivered a PDF, we’re truly sorry.

But to answer your question directly…

You’re not making the same mistake again.

You’re making a smart decision despite your previous bad experiences which will end up as something you look back on as one of the best investments you’ve ever made.

“I have a busy social life over the next couple of months, should I just wait until things quiet down?”

You could.

But will they really quiet down?

Can you name one time in your life you’ve had 8 weeks with absolutely no nights out, family commitments, holidays, weekends away, etc?

No.

So instead of waiting for this mythical “quiet time” to come around…

Wouldn’t it be better to get results while living your life so you don’t have to stop living your life to get results?

You might not think that’s possible.

But every single person who has got results on BLITZ has experienced how the coaches keep you on track and accountable through all social occasions and life events.

And you will as well if you sign up today.

“Ok, here’s the deal… I’m loving everything you’re telling me and I’m almost ready to sign up… But I’ll only do it IF you can show me 12 more jaw dropping transformations from BLITZ?”

Hmmmmmmmm…

That question sounded suspiciously self serving.

We’re beginning to question who is asking these questions!

It’s question inception here at Biceps & Banter HQ.

Anyway, here’s what you (whoever you are) asked for…